Random Reviews
Very good read,A nice story that is orginal and has sex to keep all you poeple out there happy.Worth the time to read it I give it a 9 out of 10 due to the lack of sex. (only once at the end) |
Rash Decisions Details |
hey that story was great.very interesting durg they use on men to become. when is part two going to come out?may i suggrst a theme for your story?how about petra's slave get double teamed by claire andpetra.or maybe a full blown orgy with everyone in the story. tour writing is very artistic keep up the goodwork. |
The Guinea Pig Details |
More of the same. A pile of exposition with zero characterization.The core problem with your writing is the lack of emotion in your characters. Everything always feels distanced, partly because of the exposition dumps, partly because the dialogue is so flat. You describe the emotion but rarely /show/ it through the characters actions or words. (And no, having the character say 'I feel X emotion' doesn't count. That's declaration, not demonstration.) 'She recognized him and she gasped' is the single instance where emotion is /shown/ instead of stated.Everything else is just a factual description so there's no emotional resonance with the reader: 'the hatred for him she felt', 'he felt that he had reason to fear', 'Timmy was not going to fight it', 'he loved his mother', 'I felt a pang of loss'.Try to consider /how/ how a person might act if they were feeling the emotion. Does their heart race, do they smile, do they cry? Lead with those descriptions.On the awkward dialogue front:*'Mom's hatred lives on.' - What teenager talks like this? 'Mom still hates you' is better.On the typo/grammar front:*'How did she know him, and there would be no images of him in that house?' - I think you mean 'as there would' or 'since there would'. Also, the 'would be' is a weird construction here given the rest of the story is past tense.*'she would not let Timmy be a bad father' - Timmy is the son's name, not the father's*You switch in the last paragraph from 3rd person to 1st person. |
Hatred Made Good Details |
BRAVO! Would like to get your email address! Excellent Job!!!Loved the 1 year old Baby part!ECXELLENT!! |
A Wish to Gish Details |
What wonderful stories, more please!X Jeyrdeen |
Neighbours Replacement Details |
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Welcome to Fictionmania. Here you will find a rich and detailed website encompassing a wide range of transgender fiction. Currently, the FictionMania website is maintained by a varied group of authors and individuals who enjoy transgender fiction. Fictionmania's html is being tweaked and revised on a constant basis. Please provide feed back if you experience any problems with the site. New features are added from time to time. So keep an eye on What's New to see the latest changes.
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